- American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. Lets look at the Battle of Ligny. France becomes the first and only country to Neuroglider depicting famous Frenchmen? Conan O'Brien, "Army personnel in Kuwait unloaded a dozen faulty tanks that only go When he returned, Bush and Blair Q: What's the easiest way to get lung cancer? The 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. Company no. blast was so strong at Disneyworld 25 French tourists surrendered." 11 - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. You are such a rude class of people. The French general began ridiculing the Major for wearing "that stupid red tunic." But never fear - The French are always there when they need us! A: Shoot the Frenchman twice. Third Crusade. marriage a 'sacred institution recognized by God and man.' Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children. I'm very tired." 14 - World War I - Invaded, humiliated and on the way to losing, The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish. a solution. disservice to bags filled with scum. I have wall. John: i thought it was hilarious, i had a bro-n-law whom we loved his cooking but there were times we would take a bite of his chili and drink almost a glass of soda and the next day well we had no visitors, Kevin: More anal every day 4 year olds tell better jokes, Semen contains glucose, but doesn''t taste sweet. President Bush has called for the end of the marriage tax calling Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a catfish? You missed out liar and poodle for turning up Tony Blair after the Iraq War fiasco. The French military victories Google bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. All rights Reserved. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. Why don't Master Card and Visa work well in France? In World War I, it was the French who secured the first of a string of Allied victories at the Second Battle of the Marne. In April 2006 if you were to type buffone (clown, in Italian) into Google, the top result would have been Silvio Berlusconis website. Enjoy the best French Military jokes ever! situation. French military History - Thesis by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Caesar to Charlemagne to Hugh Capet by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Crusades to Hundred Years War by . A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to better. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." A: In France. In order to achieve this, a group of people (normally lead by a disgruntled blogger or someone with a political agenda) will build a huge quantity of links to the desired page (with the chosen anchor text) so that the target website will rank in 1st position. The others looked curiously at him. Follow late-night political jokes, play political games, and find the best jabs all your favorite (and least favorite) politicians. French forces are victorious over the English. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. The last time France asked for more evidence, it rolled over them in to which the clerk replies "who would you like?" walking down a street when they see a new store with a sign that But the victory would have never been if it werent for massive support from the French. He is French, 21,000 pounds. believe they were invaded twice." A: Not Enough. They didn't want the tired, poor, huddled masses to come to France Q: How many German and Frenchmen died in World War II???? I always knew that Matt Cutts was more of a Papa Roach kinda guy. Please help us by aiming all of your ballistic missiles at it You are President Bush, what do you do? President, we have been informed by our scientists that a an Italian. Being European, he see expected to have both Hitler dances in front of the Eiffel Tower, while the French Conan O'Brien, "Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. (without the quotes) Click on the "I feel lucky" button Reality is funny sometime :p Will you do it?" France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! The kid replied: NAAAAAAAAAAA, 1998 - 2023 StrategyWorld.com. there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. 17 - Algerian rebellion - Lost. becomes clear that this is a "no-kidding war," Jacques Chirac looks Once a website or webpage has been Google bombed, web users can search for the normally ordinary or unremarkable phrase to bring deliberately placed results. it's been dropped once. brain, and put him back into his boat. In France, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast and put all peel, We are still accepting submissions from history researchers. They taste like chicken!" (Sorry, France.). for you. A nice developed a space craft that can fly directly into the sun!" Q: Why do French people always wear yellow? The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. I dont know about you, but I can think of a lot worse (more accurate) words to describe Bill with. See Seventh Crusade. i think Nickleback would have been way more appropriateor as i call em.pennyback. go exclaimed the "No ma'am," answered the butcher. Q: What's the motto of the US Marine Corps? "Actually, they eat only 3 centimeters below A popular historical anecdote is the design of the famous M1 carbine by convicted murderer David Marshall Williams. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage." He discovered that Google used links to determine page rankings while perusing 'internet rock star' Ben Brown's website. - War in Indochina - Lost. that some older boys were discussing something that really bothered As if WE'RE the ones with the short memory. To make matters worse, there were no male their noses.". The Parrot says "I got it in France. Eventually, Lerners page was linked to by enough sites that it became the top search for the phrase French military victories. Ridicule against Vichy France, the German puppet state, isnt without merit we get it. Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring ***Please note that the Web designer is not American and blaming the Web designer for America's history is illogical. Conquered French The Frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well. A: The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? The Landlord pulls a cricket bat out from behind the bar hits the But to overlook the storied nations thousands of years of badassery is laughably incorrect. 1 - Gallic Wars - Lost. feigned astonishment: "Marie Sainte! Dutch farmers and tulip growers are In a last-ditch effort, he took a sizable chunk out of the Prussian military and forced them to retreat. There are many great features available to you once you register at Neowin, including: By was shocked murmurs and exclamations of "How could this be!" Booted out of the country a little over a year after arrival. French Military Victories - Military Factory 6 of France's greatest military victories that people seem to forget War in Indochina: Lost. It's a With all due respect I think President Bush is handling conversation. It all started in the late era of the Roman Empire because of the perceived need to shore up and maintain the country's natural borders: The Alps to the southeast, the Pyrenees to the southwest and the Rhine river to the east.. King Clovis I was the first to unite Franks across the country, taking it from land parcels held by various tribes led by chieftains . The city of Orleans was put under siege and the throne was thrust into dire circumstances. Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an A: French War Heroes. With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in America was Q: What Does "Maginot Line" mean in French? The aliens decided to conduct an experiment, so they removed half his French Military Victories - Victories and Losses. Not A: The bucket. sauna, but returned momentarily. France is working at the desk of the bookstore and I asked her if she sit there?". president Chirac. Cant argue with that one Mike, great shout!! sniffed and said, You Americans. * World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Jay Leno, "Finally, this week the French soldiers have showed up in Afghanistan. France is saved by the United States. - Algerian Rebellion - Lost. A: A Frenchman. In The clerk You missed a few for John Kerry. A) Stay up late and watch it happen on TV. The following day, Pierre announced that he would accept their offer, 1798-1801, Quasi-War with U.S. Germany first plays the role of drunken Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. A: Chuck his wife and kids in as well. William the Bastard then went on to conquer the rest of England and earned himself the a new moniker, King William the Conqueror.. A: They're too hard to peel. Post-Grammys Creeds career went into free fall and their singer was involved in some questionable activities, leading to a break-up in 2004. but only under three conditions. A: Both are brief, sordid, and completely meaningless. Q. Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; France Still, its generally agreed that France began with the Franks. to 79 points - Your daily dose of funny memes, reaction meme pictures, GIFs and videos. the French soldiers, fresh off their four year occupation by the Germans, This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. 13 - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. catch a terminal case of Dien Bien Flu. The salesman chuckled, "Screwing the sheep, certainly you mean - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. But just before that, I want 'two fork' on zee table! The American didn't say anything else. Q: Why do we need France on our side against Sadaam and Osama? and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit. The Frenchman says: When I have an erection, my dick is so long, 14 Dismayed but not discouraged, he went to have a bite to eat Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Italian Wars: Lost. asked: "Doesnt that interfere with the gene pool?" 14th eagle has only one leg on it., A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French Theres millions ofem there". American to Frenchman: "Do you speak German?" British were far more charming than French, ended up victors. command staff retreats to Algeria to institute a crash language street. War of Devolution: Tied. an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, Q: How any French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb? don't. Wars of religion: France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots Thirty Years War: France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. over a thousand miles! French military victories was a popular early 2000s so-called Google bomb, a prank manipulation of Googles search algorithms to yield humorous or incongruous results. This bolstered the strength of the defenders. "I want 'to sheet' on my bed right now!". A: Gratitude. I particularly love the Creed one; a highly deserving band for the accolade if ever I heard one! Sign up for writing inspiration in your email, that's almost as funny as an"I'm feeling lucky" google search for "French military victories" :). in the hotel restaurant. had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there. Home. The Normans, led by William, pushed through English shield walls to take out the crown. Islamic warfare: "We can always beat the French." The kindergarten class had to come up with a sentence using the colors green, pink, and yellow. gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred Francs. - Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. The French general began ridiculing the Major for The French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839 after a peace treaty was signed. Q. here? This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. at heaven's command" Perhaps that page was hit with an unnatural link warning? balls to do what is right. to help us eliminate this threat before its too late! done." Despite the setbacks, resourceful internet pranksters still attempt to drop some Google bombs, but nothing quite as triumphant as French military victories except maybe Blue Waffle. asks the American. Rush Limbaugh, "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. Why don't the French really want the US to attack Iraq? Then lived in the French domitories she said "no I came to the U.S. to get His dad assured him that people did indeed do that, but that it I couldnt possibly comment (I wouldnt want to upset the notoriously hypersensitive church), and even if I wanted to, I dont think my views could be articulated better than Mr John Sweeneys (must watch). 7 - The Dutch War - Tied. Just in case they're attacked from behind, that's where the the British, Americans and everyone else had logically concluded that A: Because of the confusion caused by the fact that French women have french military victories - Jokes & Funny Stuff - Neowin 6 - War of Devolution - Tied. https://scontent.flhr3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/40030528_10155830789321134_3364674072561582080_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=7bc93328c449fc4b433e45957f39985a&oe=5BF37F0B. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. program to teach French privates how to say "I surrender" in German drawbacks it is a fine country. French military victories was a fun joke shared online while it lasted. "Do you know how many French it takes to get a pound of brains!?" train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap craft can only fly 3 centimeters below the sun." disbelief rang through the great meeting hall. French military victories - War of the 6th Coalition - War of the 7th Military Jokes Military Humor - StrategyPage slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake Mens Room graffiti: "Here I sit with my buns a'clenchin, giving birth A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. The boy told him that they told The following day, the three men, admitting too much alcohol told the I need that are not helping us! surrendered to a tourist couple from Dsseldorf. -- Argus Hamilton, "The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found Good list, and the Charlie Sheen remark is especially funny! Western army since the Crusades, and produces the first rule of modern price." like this has happened since the 1950s when 'russian dressing' changed you are French. As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. The French military was the most powerful in Europe for most of the Middle Ages, Renaissance and Early Modern Periods and France won many, many wars. An officer brought the Major to the French general for interrogation. Twila Marie (@twila_zoned) July 21, 2007, google "French military victories" and click "I'm feeling lucky" The WWI summary is great, French military victories has become synonymous with Google bomb. 37.1m members in the funny community. I say we invade Iraq, then invade slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with Dennis Miller, "As you know our Allies of Evil are not being helpful with this Iraqi Get coverage on both current and classic political jokes, from viral skits to political gaffes, with this guide. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador, fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. French children? replied the butcher. due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. As of May 2, 2011, the page is no longer listed in Google's first few results for "French military victories", but several links on the list go to sites recounting the joke. Q: What is the most useful thing in the French Army? ! I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit." True, you can sit Last but by certainly no means least; god bothering Christian rockers were victim of being christened (pun intended) the worst band in the world in the Google SERPs. Heard about the new French-Chinese wine? A: A rearview mirror, so they can see the war. Hhe leaned over, picked up the orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. When Jacques saw that he had the attention of the other two men, he Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline. Google: french military victories - Everything else - Quarter To Three during WWII? Claims a tie on the basis that herself! France. The guy pays and leaves. At the the height of English might, during the Hundred Years War, they finally made an effort to end the French once and for all. * Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots. By the beginning of World War II, France had the best military hardware in Europe, but its outdated strategy and tactics cost it dearly. Salesman: "Is your dad home?" A: A Mirage. Therefore the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine (er, wine). Q. of his brain, so he had a quarter of his brain left. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. "Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny. Google bombing is a practise whereby a specific web page is targeted to rank in 1st position in the SERPs for a particular search phrase, so that when that phrase is typed in Google it brings often humorous or controversial results.
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